Some things I won't miss about about the holidays

    Ah, chestnuts roasting on an open fire. Sugar-plum fairies. Angelic little faces opening presents to the "oohs" and "ahhs" of grandparents and family. Stockings hung by the chimney with care.Fruit cake (OK, maybe not fruit cake; who came up with the idea that fruit cake was a worthy gift, anyway?) …
   What’s not to like?
   As I look back on the holiday season, there are a couple of things I’m happy to not have to deal with again until next year:
   Incredibly cheesy holiday commercials. Is it me or is Santa getting cheesier every year? This year’s "Cheesy Santa" award winners were the many variations of Santa stuck in the chimney; Cute Santa stopping at Store X because he needed last-minute gift ideas (ho ho ho); Embarrassed Santa who turns to Company X for help in some way; any commercial that ends with Tired Santa with his feet up on a stool in front of the fire at the North Pole; Ingenious Mrs. Claus helping get the goods out while Slacker Santa snores away in front of aforementioned fire; any holiday commercial with disgruntled elves; and, finally, just about any national jewelry-chain TV commercial, all of which work so darn hard to pull at our heartstrings, and which instead, by the time Christmas rolls around, have twisted my stomach into knots.
   Those kids with the sneakers with roller skates in them. I had to venture out a couple of times during the hectic pre- and post-holiday shopping blitz, and just about every time I did, I got rammed by some kid zooming around the mall/shopping center/store I was in because they were wearing these shoes with the hidden roller skates in them. The next one to slam into me or my kids gets taken OUT, and I’m not kidding. If you let your kids fly around the mall in his sneaker-skates, you are part of the problem! <grumble, grumble>
   My list. You know that list you make every year of all the things your kids got, and from whom, so you can write them thank-you notes? I was in charge of my son’s list, and I can’t find the #$%^ thing, which means that I’m going to have to try and recreate it based on what toys, clothes and books I can still find, and then guess who gave them to him. It is inevitable that about five people are going to be forgotten and angry (rightfully so), and another five or so will get thank-you notes that say "thank you for the fabulous corduroys" when in fact they got him the Diego Animal Rescue Center, or Hot Wheels Zoom-O-Rama, or whatever.
   Los Angeles. Had to drive through it once over the holidays, and that was once too many.
   The Chick-fil-A Meineke Car Care Emerald Nuts Bowl. I long for the day when my holiday college football games were still named after a fruit. Is anyone else with me on this?
   Airports. Pretty self-explanatory, especially for those that either have two small kids or know the pain of traveling with two small kids.
   OK, enough Scrooging. You’d think that I hadn’t had a wonderful holiday, when in fact, the exact opposite is true. Here’s hoping yours was full of good times and good cheer!



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